The Control Button Doesn't Always Lead to a Shortcut

I was listening to Janet Jackson and the song “Control” came on.

That was my jam when I was a kid (and still is). Actually, the album itself is one of my favorites. This song specifically empowered me then and still does now.

These lyrics always spoke to me: “I’ve got my own mind/ Wanna make my own decisions/ When it has to do with my life/I wanna be the one in control” ::cue the drum snares::

Isn’t this the principle we tend to live by as high-achieving women? I’ll say that it was for me: I felt I could shape my life by controlling what I can.

Taking control definitely creates a sense of certainty and security for ourselves. I think that’s natural.

But hey, taking control most of the time can create perfectionist tendencies. And as well intentioned the practice is, the habit of being in control can backfire on us.

A classic example is when you find yourself taking on tasks that you don’t need to. You probably do it because you think it’s just easier if you deal with it by yourself rather than trusting someone else can pick up the task. Before you know it, you find yourself with a big ol’ To Do List. Review your list: and you’ll likely find some things that didn’t need to be there in the first place.

Makes you think: Control in this sense did not lead to a shortcut did it?

Take a moment to ask yourself some of these questions:

What is the source of my control?
Is my sense of control negatively impacting my life?
Do I really want to the be the lead on this specific task?
Is it hard for me to let go, trust, and/or delegate? And why?

We can’t control everything.

As I’ve been working on my yoga practice, I’ve learned the only thing we can control is how we meet each moment.

This may sound wild, but one way to break the tendency of control is to learn how to surrender.

Photo by **Tara Winstead** from **Pexels**

Wha wha????- Yeah I balked a bit when I heard that for the first time. It does make sense, though. Things change and we can’t resist the natural unfolding of what happens in life.

Learning to be reacquainted with impermanence helps your mind feel less “thrown around” amidst the ups and downs in life.

Start small with what you decide to let go.

Tap into self-trust and trust in your decisions to have others help. Free up your time a little by little, by letting others help out/pick up the slack.

Trust that even if the outcome is not exactly what you expected, it can work out.

Slowly but surely letting go of control will feel easier, and your days will feel less stressful as you have more time for you and the things you really want be part of.